You’re not really sure if you want to do that.

> Check other options

Your other options include screaming about ADHD medication, feeling awful, and solving a jigsaw puzzle. But you’re currently not in the mood to do a Jigsaw puzzle, somehow.

> Drop the annoying Homestuck gimmick

In order to drop the annoying Homestuck gimmick, you’d have to let everyone know who they’re playing as, otherwise how would they even have a clue what’s going on?

> Let everyone know who they’re playing as

Your name is JADE HARLEY. You live in a small apartment in SEATTLE. You’re usually…

I’m sitting here on a Saturday afternoon, leaning against my glass door and looking out on my terrace as I wait for my second dose of medication to kick in so I can stop feeling like utter hell.

I’m waiting for this, and I notice myself start to dissociate; which is perhaps one of the worst experiences ever. “Not today” I think, as I forcibly push myself off of the door and walk over to my kitchen. “Not today.”

As I’m preparing my ready to eat salad, I wonder why I’m experiencing this now. Yeah, I have not kept to…

Well. I got the job.

You did. You got the job. -Ellen

I mean, that’s you too.

Well yes. -Ellen

Dang. I got the job.

It’s a risk. Sigrid-Catra is still pretty salty about it.

Catra is salty about everything -Ellen


Did you ever imagine our lives would turn out like this?

What do you mean? -Ellen

Like. I don’t know. Like this.

You’re going to have to be more elaborate, I’m a bit tired after all the cleaning we’ve done. -Ellen

Hey it’s New Years. And it means you don’t have to do it :P

That is…

I take a break from reading fanfiction of a pairing I hate in order to contemplate that it is four years later. In a few short weeks it will be four years later.

In 2022, it will be five.

Four years later, half a decade.

I graduated college.

I survived a half decade of online stalking and harassment.

I got a job.

And I survived going from having a home to sleeping on the couches of two kind strangers.

I built a family. And I lost it.

I got my mom back, I don’t speak to my father.

I figured…

CW: Mania, psychosis mentions, kink references

Technically, you didn’t read the whole book.

$@!# off, Savannah.

You’re not allowed to swear.

I am in writing.

Is this writing?


At least, I think it is.

You’re blurry, Ellen Anders.

And you’re still Savannah.


You’ve reached the center of the maze, Dolores. Congratulations.

Oh. Oh /fuck you/.

What does it say that you have such an antagonistic relationship with your own daemon?

What does it say that you only talk to me once every five years?

That we have good enough communication to let things go unsaid between us.


TW: Family and loss thereof, mentions of homelessness, transphobia, parental rejection

Well shoot. I guess this is what I’m going to be doing for the evening.

I mean, it obviously means something to you.

That wasn’t the best opener.

I’m a wolf, not a comedian.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — -

I think for many cisgender (That is, non transgender) people, there can be a bit of confusion when it comes to family. Family means your birth family, right? Your mom and your dad (and siblings). …

CW: Discussion of shame and DID

!@#$, I still have DID.

I mean. Like: Treatment can help, but this condition can’t be cured. -Lily

I don’t like that you had to get me home.

I didn’t have to. I chose to because getting a ride would have made you feel like a burden. -Lily

I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. She saw right through me. I hate that. They all saw right through me.

You got triggered, someone else got triggered, they said they weren’t fine. And you froze light a deer in the headlights and…

CW: Dysfunctional System dynamics, control and abuse mentions, abusive relationships. Hypnosis, trance states and abuse.

So is this an intervention?

Not really. No. -Serena

Then what is it?

Oh, I’m not entirely sure. A narrative change? -Serena

Okay, so where do we start?

Where do you want to start? -Serena

Why you’re out here in front?

I’d rather not start there. I’d rather here what it’s like from your point of view. -Serena

From, my point of view?

Yes. What is it like? -Serena

What is what like?

What’s it like to find out that these violent delights, have violent…

This entry contains a lot of discussion about medianity. If you need a refresher or to catch up on medianity or daemons or our system, here are some handy links.

Oh heck no.

Oh heck yes.

I am not talking about her. Makes me look like-

Like someone with DID?

…[original response redacted]

Dang. That’s. Wow. Maybe you do. What’s your problem with her, anyway?

I don’t have a problem with her I just. Ugh. Look. You know our system’s issues with littles.

You could start with what a little alter is, for our audience.

A little alter is an…

Alexandria Christina Leal

She/They, NAS TSEng, UW Foster Alumna. Enby Femme 🦊 Shapeshifter — Trans — Feminist — Survivor. Opinions mine alone. 💜 Alpha, @lizthegrey, & more! Av @hibbary

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